How to Deal With Three Top Issues That Bother Teenagers
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How to Deal With Three Top Issues That Bother Teenagers

Parents find themselves having a hard time dealing with teenagers and end up putting too much blame on teenagers or even giving up.

Parents find themselves having a hard time dealing with teenagers and end up putting too much blame on teenagers or even giving up.  At this age, most teenagers are going through identity and developmental crisis and are looking forward to finding someone that they can share their worries and concerns or even identify themselves with. If parents don’t show concern to their needs, they result to bad behavior or poor choices as a way of seeking attention from parents. Teenagers want to make their parents proud and if they feel that they can't make them proud or get attention in a positive way, they will find a way to get some form of attention, even if it is negative.  Having a positive attitude, consistency and making yourself available whenever you teenagers want to share something will help in opening communication channel and eventually the teenager will be able to open up.

There are three main issues that bother most of teenagers: Parents, Peer Groups and Responsibility.

Parents

Parents should understand that teenagers want them to be involved in their lives and no matter how much they pretend they can do without parents, they still care so much about parents. They are looking for someone who can love and understand them at this time of their transition from child to an adult and a place where they can feel comfortable.  Parents should avoid criticism as much as possible and approach issues reasonably. 

Judging and harsh words will not do well with a teenager and widens the gap between the parents and the teenager. The challenge is to sit down with your teenager, try to understand her and don’t judge. Give her wisdom that she really need which will help her to create that identity. Discipline her from the perspective that what you are doing is for her benefit, safety and well being but not out of anger and frustrations. The goal of discipline should be to teach and if you cloud her with anger and emotions, she will never learn any lessen which adds to more frustration. Parents should understand that teenagers will respect their decisions and even if they disagree, when the situation is presented positively to them, they will have an opportunity to express their feelings and their needs.

Remaining a good role model to your teenager is another important thing that parents should do. Most teenagers will not realize that they model their parents' habits and behaviors but parents remain one of the single important role model in a teenager life. The parents should understand the best way to handle challenges, to speak, to treat others, to eat, to speak and feel about themselves. These are things that teenagers model from their parents. Good values and attitude will have a long term impact on the teenager and will affect the way she interacts with others.  There are no better ways to teach your teenager values than yourself.  They will be able to emulate these behaviors as they grow older and eventually help them to shape who they will be in future. These values will also helps in creating their own identity which they really need at this time of growth.

Peer Pressure

Peer groups have a significant influence in teenager’s life. Most of the teenagers care about what others says about them. It has a big impact on teenager's choices of clothes, language, attitudes, and behavior and even those reasonably independent teens are not immune to the culture of conformity and the opinion of the peer groups will have more weight than that of the parents. No influence in teenager's life is as powerful as peer pressure. Depending on what peer groups, it is true that some can impair teenager good judgment and lead to risk taking behavior.  Teaching your child ability to balance values of going along with the crowd against the importance of making their own decisions is an important thing that will help the teenager in finding that balance.

The challenge for parents is to get teens to accept values that will steer them through their turbulent years.  This can be done by involving other peer groups like community groups or church groups. Making reasonable rules that affects the groups and involving them in decision making processes. Talk about the problems and listen to their views and suggestions. Don't argue, lecture, analyze or judge them for their thoughts instead try to reason with them and find that common ground.

Responsibilities

Teenagers need responsibilities. They need to learn how to be responsible and do things the right way. Otherwise, they will have a tough time adapting when they grow up. Responsibility can be learned in small steps over long periods of time. Giving your teenager an opportunity to become responsible is way of showing trust and helps in building self confidence. Parents should understand that most teenagers do poorly with tasks that someone else tells them they must do but if they help to plan tasks, they can typically carry them out successfully. This also helps the teenager to develop the skills necessary for adulthood and will be ready to face the world. 

Developing a teenager into a responsible adult is one of the most important goals that a parent can set for self. Parents should make sure that the ultimate goal for the responsibilities that you set is maintained to allow for greater growth and development of your teenager.  Most teenagers also lack management skills and find it hard to co-ordinate even their daily schedule. Teaching time management skills will help in timely accomplishment of tasks.

Lastly, parenting is a full-time job with many challenges and becoming a good parent means acting upon failures and turning them to success through your own actions. Teenagers are always looking for role models and the best thing that a parent can do is to be the best role model for your teenager.

References

http://www.pamf.org/teen/parents/health/growth-11-14.html

http://www.babyart.org/teen/the-influence-of-peer-groups.html

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Comments (14)

The high hormones levels of teenagers, combined with their smaller or bigger difficulty to integrate smoothly into social life, affects greatly their behavior.

Ranked #26 in Teens & Teenagers

Couldn't agree more about being a role model.

Excellent work . . . Voted up

Healthy topic and some much needed advice here! Thanks for posting. Voted

Thought sex is included. LOL. Kidding aside, you did a great job on this.

Ranked #5 in Teens & Teenagers

Sex is also part of teenager's life but would fall under peer pressure. Most of the want to have sex because their friends are doing the same and talking about it.

excellently written and inf ormative.

Voted up. Informative article

Good lead for parents to help their children grow well as responsible adults. We need this to build a just and humane society as the family is the basic unit of society.

Very well composed. I did not have problems with three teens at one time since I was a strict parent yet very approachable at all times. I am best friends with all my grown children today. Parenting can be simplified if constancy is provided.

Teenage is a very sensitive age, and incidences which happen in this age can define and influence the complete life. A great article, voted up.

I see too many parents give up on their teenagers in the most important phases of their lives. What a different we can make with just spending a little extra time with our kids instead of in front of the television or behind the computer all day. Excellent work. I am following you now.

revisiting to give you a vote

Back to Buzz this up.

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